1. Your child is not yours anymore....at least not between the hours of 8:30 and 3:20. School policies strictly forbid anyone from being in the school,other than the main lobby, during school hours. Try it and you will pay dearly! Seriously, I have been to Cole's classroom 2x now~ once at orientation and the second time for back to school night. Yes you can volunteer but it must be planned and they practically have to do a background check!
2. You will have more homework and stress about homework than you've ever had in all the years of your own education (all 20 years of it!). Seriously, while as an adult this may sound easy, try learning (or teaching) your five year-old his phone number, address, how to spell and write his full name, the concept of capital and lower case letters, how to stroke letters properly (for those who don't speak teacher talk~ that is how to write a letter in normal language~ all in the first 3 weeks of school. Seriously, it's enough to give me gray hair (I mean more gray hair!)
3. Teachers and parents speak a different language...and there are no interpreters. Stroking, stretching? Sounds like an aerobic activity (and a pornographic one) to me! Little did I know, they have everything to do with teaching your 5 year-old how to read and write.
4. No one, and I mean no one, is exempt from raising money for the school. Nope...not even kindergarteners. Got our first fund raiser today...yeah!
5. There is no grace period. From day one as the parent of a school-aged child, you are expected to know all school lingo, abbreviations, rules, etc. I attended a meeting on Monday regarding becoming a room parent (I'm having a real hard time with the detachment thing....I want my child back!) and there were more acronyms used in the hour long meeting than I have heard in a long time!